F - N

faced - to be very drunk. Derived from the term "off my face". eg "We got totally faced last night".

fag - sometimes used in it's American sense ie. short for 'faggot' or homosexual, but more commonly for a cigarette.

family jewels - Rhyming Slang for 'balls' (testicles). The word 'jewels' is pronounced 'jawls'.

fanny magnet - a classy or flash item that attracts women, usually used for an expensive car. eg. "You wanna see my new motah, it's a right fanny magnet !".

farmer Giles - Rhyming Slang for piles (haemorrhoids).

fart-arseing about - to act foolishly and waste time. eg "If you wouldn't have spent so long fart-arseing about we'd be their by now".

(the) filth - the police.

(the) firm - a gang of 'dodgy geezers'.

fit - used to describe someone who is sexually attractive and has a well toned body. eg. "Look at him/her over there, he's/she's well fit !".

five knuckle shuffle - humorous name for male masturbation.

flange - slang name for vagina.

flid - schoolboy humor term usually directed at someone clumsy or stupid. Comes from Thalidomide, the drug that caused deformities in baby's. Very much in the same vein as 'Spastic'.

flim-flam - a load of rubbish / a tall story / trickery. eg "Don't give me any of that flim-flam".

flippin 'eck / 'ell - (flippin heck/hell) a mild form of exclamation which is a euphemism for the word 'fucking'.

float an air biscuit - to fart

flutter - an occasional bet on a horse race or the gee gee's

footie - Abbreviated for for football

Forest Gump - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'dump' (defecate).

frenchy - childish slang term for a French kiss.

fridge (and) freezer - Rhyming Slang for 'geezer'.

frigging - a euphemism for 'fucking'.

fudge packer - vulgar term for a gay man.

fuck stick - slang for penis, or used as an insult. eg. the gross term 'Would you like to lick the salty end of my fuck stick ?'.

fuckwit - a stupid person, popularised by the English magazine 'Viz' character called 'Terry Fuckwit'

funny farm - mental hospital or institution.

funny money - counterfeit money.

fur burger - gross slang term for vagina.

gabbin - talking (normally too much).

gaff - slang for house or place. eg "I'll meet you round my gaff in 10 minutes" and "He was all over the gaff".

gagging for it - to be very randy or asking for sex in ones mannerisms.

gander - to look at. eg. "give us a gander"

Gary Glitter - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'shitter'. eg. "Does she take it up the Gary ?".

(the) gee gee's - a horse race. To 'have a go on the gee gee's' is to place a bet on a horse.

geezer - a very common term for a man. There are many disproved origins of the word. Used respectfully and for a person of unknown name, ie. "some geezer" or "he's a bit of a geezer". Also 'dodgy geezer' can be used to describe a man of bad character.

gercha! - a mild threat as if to say 'what a load of rubbish !' or 'get out of here !'.

ging'er or ginge - playfull name for  someone with ginger hair.

ginger beer - Rhyming Slang for queer (homosexual).

gispsies (kiss) - Rhyming Slang for piss (urinate).

git - popular mildly offensive word for someone you don't like. Only really used for males.

gobshite - someone who talks rubbish all the time. This term is popular in the north of England and has recently been used 'down south'.

(to) go down - 'to go down' is to be sent to prison. eg. "Av you 'erd, John's gone down for that blag he did !". Also 'to go down on someone means to carry out oral sex as it does in other countries.

go/gone/went down a treat - something that would be enjoyed. eg. "That'll go down a treat mate".

gone for a Burton - Rhyming Slang for the town 'Burton-on-Trent' meaning  'went' or 'to leave'.

goolies - balls

gooner - an Arsenal fan. Derived from the cry "gunners !", the clubs nickname (their emblem is a cannon).

Gordon Bennet - an exclamation much like the antiquated 'good heavens' or 'great Scott'. Supposedly this comes from the Gordon Bennet who founded the NY Herald, but some say it is a corrupted oath.

grass - to expose someone to the police, an informer. To 'grass someone up' is to 'tell on them'. Also a slang term for marijuana leaf that is smoked.

greaser - slang name for a 50's style bloke. Taken from the greasy brillcream look of the time.

Gregory Peck - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'neck'. eg. "Get that pint dahn yer Gregory" (drink that pint of beer quickly).

grief - trouble, hassle. ie. "Hey man don't give me grief !"

greenie - spit containing mucus, also 'flob'.

growler - This term has two suggested meaning from two different people. The first is a slang name for vagina, ie. "I'd love to see her growler". This probably derives from it's likeness to a furry animal ? The other meaning is:  the sort of person who is very drunk in a pub and is looking for a fight, maybe a mad looking bloke sitting at the bar staring at people. (suggested by R Bailey and Lee Austin)

grub - slang word for food.

guff - to pass wind. eg "Who's guffed ?".

gutted - choked or cut up about something. eg. "After my bird dumped me I was gutted for weeks !".

guv'nor or guv - meaning 'boss', or can be used as a laddish friendly term to indicate admiration.

gypsy's kiss - Rhyming Slang for 'piss' (urinate). More often shortened to 'gypsy's'. eg. "I'm just nipping out for a gypsy's".

hacked off - fed up, annoyed.

"had it away on his toes" - to run away quickly, usually after 'dodgy' act. eg. "I dunno where John is, must have had it away on his toes".

half inch - Rhyming Slang for 'pinch' (steal).

half mast - a poor erection, not fully up, like a flag at half mast. eg "I had so much to drink I could only get half mast !".

Hampton - short for the Rhyming Slang 'Hampton Wick' meaning 'prick' (penis).

hammered - a very common word meaning drunk. eg. "I was totally hammered last night".

hand-job - to masturbate the penis. eg "Those tarts down the road charge twenty quid for a hand-job if you're desperate".

hand shandy - a slang term for masterbate.

hanging - horrible or dirty. eg. "That birds hanging mate !".

Harry Monk - Rhyming Slang for spunk. Unknown origin.

"have a banana !" - a silly cockney interjection, usually inserted into a song.

having it large - (also see larging it) one of the new phrases that have entered into general use from the clubbing scene. eg. "Were gonna have it large tonight" meaning that you intend to go all out to have a good time.

headcase - a mad person. Sometimes applied to someone who a violent hardcase. eg. "You don't wanna mess with that bloke, he's a real headcase !".

Herbert - used to describe a follish person or as a mild form of abuse. Normally prefixed by 'spotty'.

(a good) hiding - to get beaten up. eg. "If you don't shut it I'll give you a good hiding !".

homo - short for homosexual. Especially used by school kids as a mocking term.

hooray Henry - a term to describe an upperclass twit type character who probably went to public school and who would own a yaucht etc. Also see Sloan Ranger.

hooter - nose

hooters - breasts

how's your father - a euphemism for sex. The sort of phrase used in a 'carry on' movie. Pron. "aa's yer farva". eg. "I think there upstairs having a bit of how's your farther !".

hubbly bubbly - large 'bong' containing water for smoking cannabis. When you inhale on the mouthpiece of the bong the smoke is bubbled through the water which cools it (allegedly).

hump - to have sex, on the same level of rudeness as 'shag'.

iffy - dubious

in stook - in trouble, usually in the financial sense

inside - in prison

Jack and Danny - Modern Rhyming Slang for fanny (vagina).

Jack Jones - Rhyming Slang for 'own'. Used in it's short form eg. "I was all on me Jack" (I was all on my own).

Jack-the-lad - a term usually applied to a young man who is flash and rebellious. Often used to describe a careless driver, ie. "He's a right Jack the lad in his car".

jaffa - a term for someone who is sterile. ie. a Jaffa is a 'seedless' orange.

jam jar - Rhyming Slang for car. Used in it's full form.

jammy - lucky. eg. "you jammy sod".

japs eye - hole at end of penis.

jar - pint of beer

J. Arthur Rank - Modern Rhyming Slang for wank. Usually shorted by say 'having a J Arthur'.

jazz mag - pornographic (usually soft) magazine found in you average newsagent.

jerk - idiot

jerk off - masterbate

Jimmy Riddle - Rhyming Slang for 'piddle' (to urinate). Normally used in it's short form, eg "I'm just nipping out for a Jimmy".

(old) joanna - a cockney term for piano. Pron. 'pianna'.

jobby - turd

jock -redneck, Scottish man

Jodrell Bank - Modern Rhyming Slang for 'wank' (masturbate). Jodrell Bank is where the largest radio telescope in the UK is sited.

John - used as a general term for a man if you don't know his name. eg "Allright John !".

Johnny-bag - condom. Also 'Jolly bag'.

John Thomas - an old affectionate term for the penis.

jublies - breasts

jugs - breasts

juiced / juiced up / juicer - very drunk.

keep your hair on - a phrase meaning "keep calm".

keep your pecker up - meaning "stay positive" etc.

khazi - lavatory (From the Indian).

khyber pass - Rhyming Slang for arse.

kick it off - start a fight

kip - sleep

knackered - exhausted

knackers - testicles

knees-up - party, normally with dancing

knocking shop - brothel

kraut - German

Lady Godiva - Rhyming Slang for fiver, "five pounds".

lair - cheek - 'got some right lair', lairy

lairy - loud, brash

large portion - (large portion yes !)

larging it - a modern term that comes from 'club culture'.

leave it out - "stop doing that" or "stop saying that" or as if to say "you must be joking".

leggit - run away fast

leg-over - to have sexual intercourse "he got his leg over"

legless - very drunk

(do me a) lemon - favour

let one go - fart

let rip - fart

lezzer / lesser / lesbo - slang terms for lesbian.

limey - British to Aussie (lime juice on ships)

limp wristed - gay

lip - cheek, used especially towards young people by there elders. eg. "Don't give me any of your lip".

loaded - lots of dosh

loaf (of bread) - Rhyming Slang for 'head'. eg. "don't be stupid, use yer loaf !".

local - pub

lock-in - where a landlord will close his pub (bar) after official closing time allowing 'friends' to enjoy a late drink. Also see 'afters'.

log - turd

lolli - money

L.O.M.B.A.R.D. - Lots Of Money But A Right Dick Head, city geezer

loose it - to loose ones cool, to go crazy

lost the plot - gone crazy/mad

love a duck -

lumme - corruption of the oath "Lord love me"

luv - general (and unliked by most women) address to a female

luvverly jubberly -

manor - territory

mate - a very common address for either a friend or a stranger of unknown name.

matey - a reference used for an unknown person

merchant banker - wanker

Mickey (Bliss) - piss (Thus 'taking the Mickey')

miffed - fed up, non plussed

mince pies - Rhyming Slang for 'eyes'

minge - fanny

missus - wife (usually 'the' missus)

mitts - hands

monkey - 500 pounds. 500 rupee note

(don't give) a monkey's chuff/arse - couldn't care less

moolar, mular

moose - ugly bird !

morning wood - an erection when waking

motah / moter - car

mouthy - someone who shouts a lot ot talks too much. Pron. 'maafy'.

muff - vagina

muff dive - to perform oral sex on a woman

mug / muggins -

mullered - drunk

munch - food, 'shall we get some munch ?'

munter - ugly fat bird

mush - address to male of unknown name.

Mutt 'n Jeff - deaf

Mystic Meg(s) - Modern Rhyming Slang - for legs. eg "Wow, look at the Mystic Meg's on that !". After the fortune teller famous for starring on the UK National Lottery program.

nadds, nadgers - testicles - 'does it pump your nadds ?'

nancy boy

(the) nick - police station, or prison

naff - cheap or tacky or of poor quality

naff off - "go away" - eg. "Why don't you naff off"

nigger -

(a) night (out) on the tiles - a late night out, usually drunk

nipper - child

north and south - Rhyming Slang for 'mouth'.

nosh - food, a meal, oral sex

notes - pounds sterling

not cricket -

not on your Nelly - Nelly Duff - puff - (breath of) life - not on your life